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2018.02.18 09:11 2catsandacomputer A guide to writing profiles on Seeking Arrangements

A note from the author: if you find some spelling or grammar mistakes, please let me know so I can edit, for as much as I harp on grammar and spelling I am definitely not perfect. At the time of this post, the word count on this guide is around 40,000 characters. It took me about 30 minutes to read out loud to myself during editing. So if you intend on using this guide, set aside that amount of time to read it. Or read it in pieces, you do you boo.
Preface: When you submit a resume to a job, sometimes you have really high hopes for the prospective job. Sometimes you’re applying just because you need something to pay the bills and the dollar amount on the job listing was just high enough. Sometimes, it’s because a friend works there and they say that the benefits are awesome, the company mission is admirable, and the workload-to-bullshit ratio is good. Sometimes, you apply because while the job wasn’t at the top of your list, it looks interesting enough and you’d consider hearing more about the roles, responsibility, and company from a recruiter. And usually, when you’re job hunting, you submit more than one application a day. In this way, dating profiles (Vanilla or Sugar) are similar to job hunting. You must go through a lot of job postings (profiles) to see which ones pay you enough (allowance), which companies are good to work for (attraction), which might offer the best workload for your lifestyle (chemistry). A part of job hunting is also writing and tailoring your resume. Like resume writing, people generally suck at writing their own dating profiles. How do they know when they’ve included enough information? How do they know that they’re showcasing their personality? Are their interests relatable for future mates or are they too obscure? Does their profile display who they are as a person without giving up too much information to potential malicious on-lookers?
The purpose of this guide is to explore language, why language in your profile matters, and how to use it in your profile to effectively communicate your needs, expectations, and desires as you navigate the Sugar Bowl. This guide is my personal opinion on what strategies and tools you can use to make your profile the most effective to find a partner who wants what you want. It should not be treated as the only resource, and I encourage you to find other tips and techniques to find exactly what you are looking for. While this guide was written for the intent of being used on the website, SeekingArrangment.com, some of the general principals listed below can be used on vanilla sites such as PlentyOfFish or OkCupid. Good luck, and I hope this guide is of use to you.
Navigating this Guide
I know this is an extremely lengthy guide, but I would recommend reading all of the example sections even if you think they do not apply to you. Examples and advice build on each example profile presented. Later points might not make sense if you do not read through the material in its entirety. Because of this, even if you are only an SD or an SB, please read both sections for the best results. These profile examples were taken randomly, from 6 different cities in the U.S.; Atlanta (GA), San Franisco (CA), New York City (NY), Phoenix (AZ), Las Vegas (NV), Washington DC Area (VA/WV/DC). I have also included the profile text as a quote, in the even that you have not yet signed up on Seeking Arrangements or do not currently possess an account:
Questions to ask yourself as a reader: What do almost all of these profiles have in common? What questions do you have? How could it be better? What prevents you from NOT reaching out?
Sugar Baby Sample 1
About Me hello,,I like watching movies, skiing, swimming, yoga, walking, listening to music, reading;
What I'm Looking For (Tags: Emotional connection) hello,i looking for friend and love;I hope it's a serious relationship;
Yep, profiles like this exist. It’s entirely possible this particular Baby is ESL (English Second Language) but even if she isn’t, there’s some things to take away from this profile. Generally, grammar and spelling should be cleaned-up. Most prospects won’t assume you to be Pulitzer award winning writers, but simple things like capitalizing singular I’s, correct application of apostrophes, and correct spelling will net you more points than if you leave the profile with these errors. Some people do not care if you use “text speak.” Others will judge the profile based only upon your choice to not apply correct grammar and spelling rules, and will bow-out of reading your profile based only on the fact that you did not capitalize the first letter of your sentences, did not capitalize nouns, etc. Your profile is your introduction. It should be polished and pristine, and a reflection of your best self. Do not be lazy, be exact. While monotonous, it will pay off to be strict on yourself in this first message. For those who do not care if you use text speak? You obviously won’t be losing points. For someone you might have in-person chemistry with? They will automatically close your profile.
There’s also such a thing as, “too little information”. While short and sweet is nice for busy professionals, nothing stands out about this profile. You could copy and paste it onto any Baby’s profile on SA and it would look the same. There is no defining characteristic, and nothing that really set her apart. Outside of grammar and spelling issues, without a picture SDs would be more inclined to pass due to how boring and low-effort this profile is.
Sugar Baby Sample 2
About Me I am [REDACTED], a citizen of the United States of America. I like table tennis, horse riding, going to cinema, jogging and golf as favorite sport, listen to jazz and rock music, very romantic and honest, hates lies, I think i am sensitive and kind to people,I live to be spontaneous and i am usually good in trying my best in any position i found myself, I am hard working to my job and always enjoy it, no matter it doesn't give me so much time, I have peace in my heart and always dream for God to give me the sweetest person in the whole universe, fun to be with, meaning, I am single but intend to get one by my side to settle down with, you can reach me on hangout or message me your phone number so i can text you out of here
What I'm Looking For (Tags: Luxury lifestyle, Friends with benefits) I am looking for someone to keep me on my toes and to snuggle up to when the nights turn cold and dark but i'm sure we could keep warm in other ways hehe.. NOTE: no cyber, time wasters , if you are not ready to meet now, please don't contact me. please contact me immediately, with your name and cell number so i can text you out of here..
Here’s a profile with a little more meat to it. The Baby begins by giving a name, which could or could not be fake. She begins by stating she is a U.S. Citizen. While dating can be sort of like job hunting, citizenship isn’t a concern for most people. If and SD wants you to travel, the “passport ready” tag should suffice. It’s sort of an odd thing to state, and then have nothing to follow up on why she included it. This could be a tactic for having men reach out and ask why she included it, but it’s not so far out there that it’s obvious that’s what she’s trying to accomplish. As it stands, it doesn’t accomplish anything to a potential partner about what kind of person she is, only a general idea of where she was born. For these reasons, it should not be included. The first “paragraph” can be split off into 2 ideas; “What I Like” and “Who I am”. Cramming the sentences together reads as a very jumbled sort of mess. It makes her inadvertently sound excited. She’s going over a lot of ideas in a short amount of time. This kind of tone can be read 1 of 2 ways; eager, or impatient. She ends the paragraph with, “please contact me immediately with your name and cellphone number so that I can text you out of here.” She states this again as her closing message under What I’m Looking For. Combined with the inability to actually make the first paragraph a sentence, she reads as very desperate. While it might sound like it makes sense to weed out toe-dippers, rinsers, and scammers by including “ NOTE: no cyber….etc” it typically has the opposite effect. Some readers will read this as a jaded and/or bitter sounding end note. If a new SD sees this in your profile, and you’re the kind of girl he’d spend money on, he might not message you because he’s new to the Bowl and he’s afraid of wasting your time, not yet understanding how this dynamic works. This language does not benefit you to add in your profile, regardless of if you are a Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby, or vanilla.
Sugar Baby Sample 3
About Me The Basics:
What I'm Looking For (Tags: Emotional connection, Flexible Schedule, Discretion, Mentorship, Attentive, Friends with benefits) I am looking for a gentleman who has a great attitude, a sense of humor, and is intelligent. If you can stimulate my mind with good conversation, you have my full attention! With that said, if you like what you've read so far, feel free to message me :) Just a few ground rules to consider before messaging me: - I identify as a submissive; however, it is earned. I verified my background so you know you're getting the real deal. While I understand privacy is important, I will ask you to verify your background, whether through here or other measures. I do not participate in any illegal activity. If we decide to meet, it will be in a PUBLIC place. I refuse to meet someone for the first time in their home or office. That's how you end up in an episode of Dateline. I have a built-in BS detector: therefore, if you attempt to scam me, you will be reported.
This is a really good profile that only needs minor tweaking. In her About Me, she lists out some basics of who she is first, and then expands on who she is if the first part was enticing enough for the reader. This is a happy medium between too short and too long profiles. The spelling and grammar are better than the other 2 examples we’ve seen, so this would be an improvement for anyone looking. She lists some things that are specific to her (Italian Cooking, the beach) and leaves things generic enough for interpretation. She says, “once you get to know me” after her list end. This is open to potentially negative interpretation. How long will it take you to get to know her? What is her personality like until you get to know her? Is she bitchy? Introverted? Who is she if you don’t know her? In her What I’m Looking For, half of it is negative to negative neutral. She gives off a check list of what is necessary to meet her. While these are solid things to know (submissive, will not meet in private for a M&G, etc) dating isn’t a grocery or chore list. A better approach would be to modify her text to not have any negative connotation. Something like: I am looking for a gentleman who has a great attitude, a sense of humor, and is intelligent. If you can stimulate my mind with good conversation, you have my full attention! I identify as submissive, so I’m afraid that if you are also a submissive, things might not work out between us. I find I have better connections with people when we both meet in public and we can relax without fear of being scammed or harmed. I’ve been wanting to try wine tasting at _______ in ________ so if you’re interested, we should connect.
Everyone who uses any dating site knows that Phishers and Scammers are abundant. Asking them not to message you won’t stop them from messaging you, it just makes you come across as impatient in your profile. If you’re asking for a guy with a good attitude, you should first display a good attitude.
Sugar Baby Sample 4
About Me Words to describe myself:
All of my photos are from this year. I used to be a scientist but now im a graduate student in the field of art &design, I am a connoisseur of beauty and fine objects. I model for photographers in California. I love dressing up to impress and express :) I travel frequently and work in travel/tourism. 25 cities in the past 1.5 yrs. for fun i like to take photos, paint, sketch, dance, cook, learn spanish, go out partying and celebrate being alive. I pride myself on my intellect and social prowess, which helps me converse meaningfully w anyone on any topic from physics and philosophy to music and design. Being a full time student and working can be stressful financially and isolating. I desire a symbiotic relationship that can remedy those feelings. All about fun, sweetness, and mutual respect. I want to have a taste of your success, so I know what to aim for my own future and accomplish my goals. In turn, I will captivate you with my vitality & electrifying presence. Happiness stems from sharing; I want to help and be helped. Ive graduated from top universities and i so welcome mentorship. I have goals i want to achieve. Let's see if our interests and logistical expectations match. Then we may meet and find out if we are attracted to each other? Does that sound like an appropriate method? :) Feel free to describe to me what youre like and what your experience has been like. I greatly appreciate honesty and clear communication. I receive a lot of messages and I cant reply right away even if i wished. I’ll be online 4-5pm and 10-11pm.
What I'm Looking For (Tags: Mentorship, Investor, Trips/vacations, Travel to You, Travel With You, Flexible Schedule, Passport ready, Sugar Veteran) *I respectfully would like to meet a man with the actual means and the integrity of Intentions to provide for my lifestyle. *I favor a discrete arrangement. Open to travel.
Are you turned on by reading this profile? What is happening?! Yeah, there’s grammar issues abound but this profile has a certain something to it, doesn’t it? This is another profile that starts with a short list, and expands into more if that short list didn’t disqualify her immediately by the reader. She talks about what she does, and almost immediately in her About Me, she starts hinting that she’s already thinking of the reader. She uses the term “impress and express”. If you’re an SD and she’s meeting you and she’s all dolled up, she’s trying to impress you. She wants your attention. She wants eyes on her, and then on you, with jealous bystanders asking themselves, “how does someone like her end up with someone like him?” She wants to look good for you. But she’s not a push over. She does it for self expression as well. She has her own tastes. She’s her own person. She doesn’t sound like work. Something else she does is relate to her reader: “working can be stressful….and isolating.” Some SDs are on this site because they work and don’t have time for a real relationship, and this statement and other supporting statements say, “Hey, I know how you feel. We can commiserate together…and make each other feel better 😉 ”
The last thing she does is ask for an open dialogue. She says, “tell me about your experiences.” She has simultaneously talked about herself while also presenting that she is here for you. She has made it clear she has her own hopes and dreams, desires and goals that are obtainable and not likely to get in the way of a successful SR. She has mastered the fine art of, “darling, let’s make this about you” without forgetting herself. The thing she does best that the last 2 profiles have not done? She doesn’t have anything negative. She states she’s looking for the real deal very carefully, injecting the word “respectfully” to state her desires. She’ll come to you. And she’ll be quiet about your relations with her as well. Short, simple, too the point, and with all of the buttering-up she did in her first few paragraphs, the closer is perfect. The only potential red flags is that she calls herself intelligent, only referencing that she was supposedly a scientist and went to prestigious Universities. This is followed up by comments like, “intellectual prowess”, yet the inability to capitalize the first word of each sentence, some I’s, etc. This can read sort of bullshit-y if her “what about you” didn’t cover for her. Again, these sorts of grammatical nuances may not matter to some readers, but for the ones it does matter for, she loses points.
Sugar Baby Sample 5
About Me I am currently in school to finish my AS in Accounting & then I will to continue to get my bachelors in Marketing. I recently just finished my AA in Business Admin (whoop whoop lol). I am a huge foodie! We can go out and try every new restaurant or stay home and make a new meal, either way I will be completely happy. I love spa days and shopping, nothing is more satisfying when your skin is glowing and you have a brand new pair of heels. I do have very high standards for my body and I strive for it to look like what I consider perfect so I do work out frequently. With that being said, my respect for myself is EXTREMELY high, do not expect to get in my pants, if there is no connection then this will not work. I am looking for the ideal sugar relationship. Check out my gift wish list if you’re serious about spoiling ;)
What I'm Looking For (Tags: Luxury lifestyle, Mentorship, Long Term, Passport ready, Discretion, Financial Domination, Flexible Schedule, Monthly Allowance, Travel to You, Trips/vacations, Investor I am very classy and hold myself to a high standard so please leave any disrespect you may have at the door. I enjoy the finer things in life along side a man who can treat me right. I want to be spoiled because you WANT to and you can afford to. Waiting for the right man to come along. Xo
This starts off so good and then like the 2016 Presidential election just crashes and buns to an unrecognizable pile of flaming shit. (Side note: Rest in Peace, Bernie4Prez 2016) She begins with some boring generalities to open the door. She’s getting her AA in business admin (whoop whoop ya’ll). She says, “I’m a huge foodie, WE can go out and eat together!” And the dream dies there, folks. The rest of her profile is all about how she would like to be treated, and nothing about what she’s going to give to her relationship. While the “about you” section is technically supposed to be about, well, you, like Sugar Baby profile #4 there is an artful way to discuss how she can be a benefit to Daddy while also expressing who she is as an individual. She doesn’t do this, and it can make her tone sound entitled, bratty, or bitchy as a result. “I am very classy” If you have to state you are an adjective, you are likely not the adjective you are stating. Especially when you add modifiers like, “very”. See /Iamverysmart or /niceguys for examples. This makes you come off as pretentious, snobbish, and makes most people scrolling through your profile give up (if they haven’t already). “Waiting for the right man to come along.” Sugar is about work on the Baby’s end. There is no prince charming. There are many Sugar Daddies who will respect you, treat you like a queen, and even love you; but they don’t do it without reciprocation. Waiting implies you’re some fragile maiden deserving of a noble hero to come sweep her off her feet. Slap on those heels and go hunting, girl. How would we fix this? How would we make her smart, classy, and mutually beneficial?
I am a huge foodie! We can go out and try a new restaurant or stay home and make a new meal, either way I will be completely happy. I do have to balance my time with you while I work on my Bachelors in Marketing, but if you don’t mind me studying or working on my homework on your couch, we could definitely talk. I have a lot of fun trying on clothes for you when I go shopping, and an ideal date would be at a Barney’s followed by a day at the spa; nothing is more satisfying when your skin is glowing and some brand new toys. I consider myself to have high standards for my body; I strive for it to look like what I consider perfect for you, so I do work out frequently. I currently run and do yoga a few times a week, but I am open to any other exercises or regiments you might be experienced in (crossfit is a plus!) What I'm Looking For Chemistry is the most important factor for me, and I think the best physical relationships start in a person’s head. Send me a message if you’d like to get inside of mine and we’ll see where we line up.
Section 2: Sugar Daddy Profiles and What They're Doing Wrong
Sugar Daddy Sample 1
About Me: I’m a frog originally. I moved to SF from Paris at 19yo for a US girl I had a one night stand with in Paris, just before she flew back to SF the morning after. Three months later, I finished high school and bought a plane ticket to come see her in SF…. Yes, I have a small accent but don’t worry, you’ll understand me just fine. I worked as a janitor, a cashier, an-escort, messenger, etc. Now, I’m a landlord on Airbnb. I have tons of free time if I want, and I can build/fix anything as I learned to fix/build my own properties. Need a handyman? 😊
What I’m Looking For (Tags: Active lifestyle, Flexible Schedule, Friends with benefits, Long Term, Passport ready, Romance, Short Term, Travel With You, Trips/Vacations) I have time and money to use, best to use it with a great partner in crime. I’ve done it before as you can see in my private pictures. I can provide everything we need 😊 I have had quite a few wild adventures along the years. I’ll tell you if you want to know. Romance, excitement, affection, and passion is best in the end. Of course, we could have fun locally too. I have a great house in SF with panoramic views of the city. When do you want to move in? 😊
Red Flag 1: Talking about relationships in the body of your profile generally means you aren’t over them. Or that you talk about your exs a lot. This can come off as clingy or obsessive to women. It raises a red flag.
Red Flag 2: Talking about your sexual escapades on a profile usually means that’s the only thing you’re looking for, or you’re insecure about them.
Red Flag 3: The tags are confusing and contradictive to his profile. You want both short and long term or you prefer one over the other? What is going on here?
Red Flag 4: Don’t joke about girls moving into your house in your profile. Please. Just don’t.
Red Flag 5: If your tone is so dry you need to use the “😊” emoji every other line, please rethink what you are trying to convey and why you are failing at conveying it. Your tone should not be determined by characters outside of the English alphabet. One or 2 is fine. Anything more than that for a word count that small comes across as serial-killer. Especially with the move-in joke.
Outside of the multiple red flags, let’s look at some of the language. The frog comment was a bit weird (means he’s French I guess?) and then lists some blue collar occupations. Talking about what you have done for work is actually a benefit; it shows more down-to-earth, non-gold digger types that you come from a humble background and know how “the grind” is. The unfortunate part is that being an AirBnB manager isn’t really something indicative of having a high, or stable income for sugar. While everyone’s allowance expectations are different, this language comes off as sort of braggy. If you replaced the blue collar jobs with white collar jobs, it would come off as pretentious. Since this is a guide about language,
Sugar Daddy Sample 2
About Me: I'm a business executive here in San Francisco. I'm very fit, work out several times a week, stable, sincere, respectful, passionate, open minded, and love to travel. I make a great mentor due to my diverse business background. I love fine dining, especially with the great selections here in SF and I love even finer wines. I'm 100% real, sincere and genuine. Please be the same. I'm not here to waste your time or mine.
What I'm Looking For: Looking to find a genuine woman on here who is looking for assistance (whether tuition, rent, bills, or investments) and wants to have a relationship where we truly enjoy spending time together and taking short trips together. I'm completely drama free and am looking for the same in you. I'd really enjoy helping to provide for a more comfortable and stable future for the right woman, both through guidance and financial assistance.
This is an okay profile. Nothing in his “About Me” section is really about him…it’s pretty generic. And the last 2 lines can be read as sort of a turn off. Again, this really depends on how bittejaded you are by the time you get to his profile but it can read as a turn off. We can alleviate that potential negative by just not including it or rephrasing it to be more positive. His What I’m Looking for is good, though. He’s no-nonsense about what SRs are for (“whether tuition, rent, bills, or investments.”) He doesn’t state anything about what he’s looking for. We’re all adults, and we know what men come here for. He’s a gentleman in that he doesn’t use his profile to talk about which Marriot he will take you to, or how long you’ll be expected to be there. He sounds experienced, like he knows exactly what he’s going to provide and he’s happy to do so for the right lady. This Stability Factor is something that Sugar Babies seek out. They don’t want to have to guess if a man is a provider. When he comes out and throws it all out in the open, rather than trying to be polite about what an arrangement is (or should I say, can be), he’s saying, “Look, if one of those things is something you want, let’s respectfully go out for a glass of wine and talk about how we can get you there.” This is a good tactic for showing women you are serious, not a toe-dipper, and not a timer waster.
Sugar Daddy Sample 3
About Me Laid back gentleman in to working out and stay abreast of world events
What I'm Looking For Active lifestyle Sexy flat stomach curvy women, i.e. lady who takes care of herself. Fitness is a plus
Same problem as SB profile 1. Reads as very low-effort. What he’s looking for is a check list. These things can be important without being the only thing you are looking for as a Sugar Daddy. Veteran SBs and girls worth their salt would ignore this profile, it sounds more like a need of an escort than the need of a sugar relationship. While there is nothing wrong with Behind Close Doors types of relationships, this guide was written for learning self expression for chemistry, not for convenient hookups. If you’re having issues finding a connection with a beautiful woman, and your profile looks like this, this might be the issue.
Sugar Daddy Sample 4
About Me Semi-retired. I have lots of free time to enjoy life. I frequently travel around the US. Also have a second home in the Seattle area. Enjoy talking about a wide variety of subjects. I find intelligence and the ability to carry on a conversation very appealing. I feel conversation and humor are two of the most important parts of an arrangement.
What I'm Looking For Do not request my private pictures without opening up a dialog first. As many of you do, I, as a "Diamond Daddy" receive 20 to 30 messages a day and I delete any conversation that is just a private picture request. So what am I looking for? I'm looking for someone who is interested in what works for both of us. I'm not looking for constant communication by text or phone. Each of us has our own lives, and I want to keep it that way. I don't need to be involved in someone's day to day life, but I like to see others happy and know that I can assist in helping them enjoy their lives.
This profile reads and stern and no-nonsense without being entirely dickish. The only thing that can be read as negative is his first sentence in the What I’m Looking For Section, which lists a requirement. A frequent poster here at SLF usually makes a joke like, “Not even a hello first?” when people request his photos. By making a joke about this common issue, we can make it a positive topic and express our personality simultaneously. Again, there’s nothing specific to him in the profile (a lot of SD’s travel or have second homes, for example) so revisiting this might make his profile stronger. For now it’s just “okay”. Sugar Daddy Sample 5 About Me I am an easy on the eyes gentleman who enjoys opening doors and treating people with respect. I know how to cook, exercise regularly, and run several businesses. I have a lot to offer, but right now the priorities which afford me a comfortable lifestyle are more important to me than a traditional relationship. If it makes my heart beat faster, I'm probably interested in it but I appreciate the simple things in addition to the nicer things. A home cooked meal can be just as special as fine dining, but some days pizza may be the only thing that sounds good. I love movies at home, although some are meant to be seen at the best theater in town while others are better at the drive-in. I'm up for adventures from the ocean to the mountains and would love to have someone to travel with. People can be heroes and I believe that the real power of a man is measured by the smile of the woman sitting next to him. Money makes many things easier, but a positive attitude and great company can create the right ambiance in any situation. As long as you're honest, easy going and open minded, we'll have a great time together. What I'm Looking For (Tags: Friends with benefits, Long Term, Active lifestyle, Romance, Trips/vacations) I want to enrich someone's life who adds value to mine by waking up next to me, reminding me to stay focused on goals, and having fun as time permits. I strongly prefer consistency over variety, but we both should have our own lives and the freedom to see other people without having to end our arrangement. Please message me what you like to eat for breakfast so I know you are comfortable with sleepover dates. If you request to see my private pictures without writing me a message I will assume you haven't read my profile. Our time is valuable and can't be replaced so let's not waste it. You can ask me anything but sharing a bite to eat without a lot of back and forth on this site would be the best way to start. P.S. The woman I would have created in Weird Science would: * Kiss so passionately it weakens the knees * Appreciate hand holding and cuddling * Be described by neighbors as slender or fit * Enjoy eating steak, ice cream, and chocolate * Have an above average sex drive * Understand this all applies to me as well. Another solid profile. Some comments to add, is that for the website it’s sort of odd to see a guy so into stressing that he likes providing. He isn’t a pushover, but he’s playing Prince Charming card. He’ll cook for you, isn’t so posh as to not order-in pizza, and likes to snuggle. Reaalllyyy likes to snuggle. He’s attentive, hasn’t said anything to prove he’s not intelligent, and so far seems like a stable, well managed guy. The only negatives here is that his profile could be a bit shorter. He says the same things in different ways, and while that might tell you more about him it’s not completely necessary. He’s mostly positive with only one negative line about time wasting.
Section 3: Safety:
In July of 2015, a popular spousal cheating website by the name of Ashley Madison was hacked. The hackers threatened to release the identities of users, backed up by months of credit card subscriptions. The painful truth about these websites is that hacks can happen and not be made public. Only share what you feel comfortable with sharing. My personal opinion is that the following information should always be omitted until you have thoroughly vetted the person you are speaking with:
Obvious reason is that someone could try to blackmail you for “outing”. Outing is the act of taking someone’s information, screenshotting their activity on SA, and then sending it to people the target might know. If a blackmailer has your first and last name, they might be able to find and access friendslists your facebook, twitter, or LinkedIn. They can threaten to hold this information over you head or send it to your friendslists, which might include work colleagues, family members, or friends who would think poorly of your decision to enter the Sugar Bowl. You never know who might look at your profile on a whim, and it might even be someone you know. For this reason, please do not post full face pictures as something anyone can see. Mark them private or only exchange with someone via text/kik/snap, etc after you’ve verified they are who they say they are.
Section 4: How to write about yourself:
If you’ve been sugaring for a while and haven’t read Ho Tactics, I strongly recommend it. Doesn’t matter if you are a Baby or a Daddy, the first half of the book is a must read. For women, it will teach you how to give the attention men want. For men, it will show you the tricks and language that rinsers use. The first half of the book is intended for strictly platonic meetings, but a lot of the principals taught in keeping a man interested and not being too much of a chore apply to Sugar Relationships. I might be a bit hypocritical in saying this, but the author comes across as very “know it all” and perceives the world as very 2 dimensional. It can be a chore to get through his style of writing, but the general knowledge is extremely useful.
Anyway, if you’re an experience SB or SD, you probably know exactly what you want. You can skip to the last section of this guide.
How to determine what you want:
Okay, so you’re new to the bowl…you might want some finanicial assistance, or a lady who is sexually explorative. But what else do you want. What stops you from being an escort or just being a John? Make a list of the things you want in a Sugar Relationship. Some key questions might look like:
This is sort of brain storming for writing your profile, so there’s no wrong way to answer this information. Be honest with yourself while asking and answering these questions. You can answer in list form, paragraph form, etc. As long as it’s something that’s getting your ideas out of your head and onto the paper (or word processor….or vim or emacs if you’re a tryhard ultra nerd) you’re golden.
How to express what you want:
Regardless of whether you are an SD or an SB, what you want matters to your partner. It determines chemistry and will also attribute to your success in the bowl. Whether or not we like it, SA is currently the main platform for starting sugar relationships. So, we make a profile, like a vanilla dating website, and hope for the best, right? But this isn’t even the same playing field because it’s an entirely different game. This is like comparing tennis to atom smashing. They’re so different we cannot play by the same rules. So the following section breaks down how to write common roadblocks people can have in their profiles. This will be summarized in the last section of this guide, so if you want to skip this section and come back for clarification for sections you don’t understand, feel free.
Don't be a Negative Nancy
There was a phrase I heard a lot as a kid: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Same thing applies here. Does including "please don't message if you're a scammer" deter scammers? Probably not. Does saying, "please no time wasters" prevent time wasters? Probably not. These messages are filler and only contribute to a negative attitude as a result. If you're a woman, try not to put negative things like a height or allowance requirement (SA has the allowance expectation section for a reason.) If you're a guy, try not to list requirements like a D cup, 26 inch waist, etc. Relationships are not a check list, don't be that guy/gal. If you're struggling with making something sound positive, you can try "we might not work if [requirement] isn't in the cards", or, "I work best with people who are [requirement]". You can say your thing nicely, but listing off a checklist is a turn off to most stable people.
You're unique, so make it about you:
You like to cook for your partner? What do you like to cook? Why do you like to cook it? Do you sing while you cook? Dance to The Goo Goo Dolls? What makes you, you? Include this. If you're married there are ways to get around this other than listing exact specifics, but this lets the reader know you're a real person and not an infamous SA bot.
But also, don't forget your partner:
At the end of the day, SA is for putting women together with men in some sort of arrangement. Market what you want and how that benefits your partner. For women, being pretty and charming isn't enough. Ask yourself what you want, and how can you make that about Daddy? How can him spending money on you at the spa benefit him? How will you show him you really appreciate that sort of gesture? For men, some women will only want a cash allowance or nice gifts, and some will want a full spectrum relationship. What do you want your money to give you? How can you attract the type of woman who can give you what you want and keep her around?
Section 5: Putting it all together
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2015.10.02 00:13 Learning_Owl 70°42'14.0"N 79°30'11.0"E

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